To get wasted, simply park your car in a random game on I76net, settle into a nice F2 view, and break out the liquor! (Note: If you follow these rules to the letter you will surely be piss-drunk in under 10 minutes.)

Take A Drink Whenever:

Someone starts dropping mines in your game.
 Take Two Drinks if: They know better but are doing it anyways.
 Take Three Drinks if: They are using Car-E-Racer's.

A flying vehicle enters your game.
 Take Two Drinks if: You try to shoot it down and it's invincible.
 Take Three Drinks if: You tell him to leave and he says "I won't shoot, just want to watch".
 Finish Your Drink if: He passes over your car and launches a brace of missles, killing you.

Someone says "U r Hacked", and you are not.
 Take Two Drinks if: They are in a Manta, Clydesdale, or Stag while telling you this.
 Take Three Drinks if: They are hacked while telling you this.

A car enters your game with linked mortars.
 Take Two Drinks if: The car is a Manta, Clydesdale, or Stag.
 Take Three Drinks if: He complains about the car with linked AIMs in your game.

A car enters your game with linked AIMs.
 Take Two Drinks if: The car is a Manta, Clydesdale, or Stag.
 Take Three Drinks if: He complains about the car with linked mortars in your game.

You lay down so much fire it goes invisible.
 Take Two Drinks if: It actually works and kills someone.
 Take Three Drinks if: You drive over your own invisible fire.
 Finish Your Drink if: You drive over your own invisible fire and it kills you.

Someone with a name like "Mad Max", "Speed Racer", "SuperFly, or "Shaft", enters your game.
 Take Two Drinks if: They swear they were the first one to use that name.
 Take Three Drinks if: Two of them are in your game arguing about who was the the first to use that name.
 Finish Your Drink if: You are using these names.

You are informed by the other players in your game labeled "No Hacks", that a hack has entered.
 Take Two Drinks if: You tell him to leave and he swears he's not hacked.
 Take Three Drinks if: He passes by you in a hack you have never even seen before.
 Finish Your Drink if: You get him to leave using creative insults and without using the boot option.
 Rob the Liquor Store if: The hack manages to get control of your game, laughs at you, and boots you.

A bus enters your game that isn't hacked.
 Take Two Drinks if: It kills you anyways.

A Vikea Wagon enters your game.
 Take Two Drinks if: It's a Humiliator.
 Take Three Drinks if: A squad of them appear and gang up on you.
 Finish Your Drink if: They chase you down and kill you.
 Rob the Liquor Store if: You see yourself being humiliated on their webpage the next day.

Someone enters your game, asking for help to become fireproof.
 Take Two Drinks if: Your game was labeled "No Hacks".
 Take Three Drinks if: He asks where to find Hack76 while he's at it.
 Finish Your Drink if: He asks what hex editing is on top of that.
 Rob the Liquor Store if: You help him out.

You enter a game to see someone impersonating you.
 Take Two Drinks if: He spelled your name incorrectly.
 Take Three Drinks if: He tells the host to boot you.
 Finish Your Drink if: The host says "imposters suck", and boots you.

You shut off your engine to avoid being hit by half a dozen Dr. Radars fired by the game host.
 Take Two Drinks if: He tells you "No Cloaking, Wuss!" or similar comment.
 Take Three Drinks if: He threatens to boot the next person to turn off their engine.

You catch someone falling off a cliff and then use the f12-f12 bug to save themselves.
 Take Two Drinks if: They say something stupid like "Huh? What are you talking about?".
 Take Three Drinks if: They tell you it's a "game feature".

Someone enters your game with a name sp3ll3d sOmeThiNG L1k3 tHi5.
 Take Two Drinks if: Th3y taLk liKe THiS aLs0.

The name "CiPSteR" is mentioned.

You ladder duel someone and utterly defeat them.
 Take Two Drinks if: They complain about making a "bad car choice".
 Take Three Drinks if: They claim lag was on your side.
 Finish Your Drink if: The leave immediately after the ass whooping, without saying "bye" even.
 Rob the Liquor Store if: You actually had your modem connect at 300 Baud like they said.

You lag ram someone.
 Take Two Drinks if: You killed them.
 Take Three Drinks if: You did it intentionally.

An armadillo, tree, or trashcan enters your game.
 Take Two Drinks if: They kill you.

A Manta, Clydesdale, or Stag enters your game.
 Take Two Drinks if: It has linked AIMs.
 Take Three Drinks if: This player scores a kill on you and then boasts of his "skill".
 Finish Your Drink if: You believe him.

Your in a game and suddenly multiple people start crashing.
 Take Two Drinks if: Everyone crashes but you.
 Take Three Drinks if: It LOOKED like everyone left, but what really happened was you crashed.
 Finish Your Drink if: Someone uses a crash hack on the game you are in.
 Rob the Liquor Store if: You are the one doing this.

You see a game labeled "Free Sex In Here" or some such on the main server.
 Take Two Drinks if: You join the game.
 Take Three Drinks if: You join these games on a regular basis hoping to get 'lucky'.
 Finish Your Drink if: You are hosting these games.