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Strategies - Nonsense

For valid input, and for people who THINK they are funny. ;)

Think you can bust Sui's chops (pun intended)? E-mail The Speed Shop.

Great site, Sui! I love the layout, and I can tell that you know your stuff. Your contributors also seem to know what they're doing, as that article I found on lag turned up to be very useful. Keep it up!

Glad we could all help, I do what I can to get some of the best players on the 'net to contribute, mostly through a generous use of begging on my part. :)

Hey Sui, here's one for the nonsense page... Are you still #1 AVA? By the way there are a LOT of people who have been hacking i76 as long as Nitro. I don't aggree with what you say about Deadman. He is (was?) good, but i know people who showed him how to hack, your page (cool though it is) is not a hacking page therefore how do you know who "the best nitro hacker of all time is" as for Deadman not being able to play online because he is hacking all the time ----well join the club. I have nothing against Deadman, but to label him the best nitro hacker of all time is an injustice to many other excellent hackers out there who keep themselves to themselves.
-Mr Sadist

You are correct in saying Speed Shop isn't a hacking page, but SuiCyco was a hacker at one point a long, long, time ago, before fire proof cars, right back when it was discovered how to make infinite armor. This is how I met Deadman, who, interestingly, lived near me. He is a skilled hacker, perhaps saying 'the best of all time' was a bit strong, because there are so many different facets to hacking I'76. And being a good hacker isn't just about the hacking, but how you represent your trade. A few names come to mind (names I won't mention) of particularly almost-brilliant hackers who had the skills, but no ethics to back them up. It's not all about the hexxing, but the attitude as well. Another hexxer will be interviewed shortly and some of your valid criticims will hopefully be laid to rest.

As for my AVA number, you're close, it's currently 1.37 :) .

You have not interviewed any Nitro hackers, those guys are the best because its is hard hacking Nitro. It just says "cheating bastard alert" but NemesiS and Mr Sadist an the regular posters on NemesiS Nitro hacks board. They are really skill. I mean Death Machine who is he?
-The Unkown

Contrare to your assumption, I have interviewed the best Nitro hacker of all. His name is Deadman. He is so busy hacking Activision games, in fact, that he doesn't play online much at all. His hacking hobby began in mid 1997, with the release of Interstate '76. As for Death Machine, I have to agree with you, all that guy does is shoot guns out of his goofy black Royale and give out one syllable answers to every question you ask him! What a joke! And that article on lag he did.. bah! We all know he made that up, right? There's no such thing as lag! Who let him be an editor for SSS anyways? What was I drinking?!!.. er thinking?!!

Ok, my name is Suicide(NON).Just n case u haven't noticed there is a little something called the Great Hack Jihad. I want 2 start something such as that but 2 get people 2 hack. I meen with your help & with other major hack pages & gangs we can have a huge hack data base. We would also have lots of hex editors & hack guides. With the power of all the hacks together we can take the so called "GREAT" Hack Jihad down. R u with me?


What is cheese? I mean in I76, as opposed to the dairy variety. (I'm from Chicago, we can smell Wisconsin from here if the wind is right.)
People complain about cheese and I kind of get the impression that they mean fire dropper. But then they talk about liking fire droppers. As for skill missles, morters, and cluster bombs require less skill than fire.
Here's my recepie for "Hack Flambe' ala Max" It kind of catches them with their pants down.
1. With your engine off drive circles around a plump little 5 turret hack. Don't let him hit you but stay close so that he "thinks that he can."
2. Lay several short lines of fire in his path, close enough that he can't stop or turn in time, but far enough so that he sees it comming but knows that he can't do anything about it.
3. When your bus wheeled, 5 turreted, manta hack decides that, instead of rolling through your fire, he'll sit in one place and rely on his armor, until you turn your engine back on: lay a line of fire next to him. Caution: Five hades shells will put a hole through a tank and the school on the other side, so keep your engine off as much as possible.
4. Run around to the other side and bump him into it.
5. Season to taste with couple Caps to the head And Viola' "Hack Flambe' ala Max" Calorie counters mat substitute a Newbie Dover stag with 4 flaim turrets. serves 6-8 (belch)
Well, that's it. Hope you enjoy. Please let me know about the cheese. Thanks.
Play Nice

That sounds like a good receipe to me... Cheese is hard to define. Anything that can take our your typical car in three or less shots is pretty cheese.
Ask yourself these questions..
1) Can I kill consistently waste multiple vehicles in one salvo of weapons fire?
2) Can I close my eyes, fire wildly, and still get kills?
3) Do I have to be especially careful not to kill myself with my own weapons?
Fufilling some, or all of these is possible cheese. Firedropper can be cheese, because if you hold down the dropper your fire starts going invisible, but if you use it with precision, and moderation, just like any other weapon... tough luck for them!

How can I make my own cars and paint work in interstate 76?

Well, you can't very easily. Not really anyways, because you are bound by the terrains and 3D structures that Activision placed in the game. You can mimic making new car's and paints, out of old ones, like making a Frankenstein monster out of other people's arms and legs, and usually about that attractive. There is one way however, that I have not revealed -up until now- that you can conceivably change and create every car you desire and incorporate them into I'76! Click here to find out!

This one just in from a Strider addict in response to last weeks letter...
"I saw the posting of Psyko-hose beast concerning his Strider addiction, and thought I should stick my head in there, because this addiction is widespread and threatens the very core of the I76 society. To understand the appeal of the Strider you first have to look at the car itself: It is the most simple and most elegant solution to fight in I76. It carries exactly the 2 neccesary weapon slots, lives on its stunning maneuverability and speed, and because it carries no armor, it'll tell you right away when you make a mistake. That now leads to the problems people face when they try to go back to 'real cars'. Suddenly they have a sluggish car, it doesn't turn, it doesn't move, and although they always know where they should be there is no way to get there because the car won't move. So suddenly instead of being the hunter they feel like the prey, and that is no fun at all. To cope with this means to change tactics altogether, getting away from the chasing style and moving towards a stalking style of playing the game. If you got a bigger car and more and bigger weapons than your opponent, you don't have to move, all you have to do is wait for your opponent to come into range, and never give him a chance to attack without being hit. That too can be great fun!"
Spokesman of Strider Addicted Anonymous,

There you have it...

Dear SpeedShop Employees,
I'm beginning to discover I have a serious and crippling addiction. Not something minor, like the need to use mortars, no no, my problem is far worse...I'm practically forced to drive a Strider. I've been told by some that I have decent driving and combat skills, and well, it seems true enough, as long as I'm in my strider, and I don't hang around too many div 15 games...but the sad thing is, I step out of my strider and into one of those disgustingly large cars like a pony, and POOF! My skills evaporate, all trace of them gone, like a cup of water in the desert. What gives? Where did all my skills go, did I really ever have any to begin with?
-Psyko-hose beast

Ah, reflection! Skills in your Strider only? We'll see how skillfull you are on the map Beserker, by Bandit, where you can't even MOVE anywhere because of all the spikes coming out of the ground, and it becomes a mortar tossing game! I think it may depend where you play. If you play on big open maps the Strider can be a winner. But maps that handicap movement (tempe, anyone?), and limit movement options, will kill you. Us NORMAL peope have metal plating for armor. But the Stirder driver uses MPH for armor. Go Figure! ;) Try using the 6 cylinder powerplant in the Strider, then use a V-8 in something a bit larger, like a Pirhanna, and so on.. In no time you'll be asking people like Thibor and Zaphod to borrow their mortar laden Royales! Enjoy! And let Ironside know when you feel like becoming a ship captain, he's got a great Courchel for you to try out. Set sail, ensign!

I'm having problems playing when I am using a map made by certain INT members... all of a sudden... I just hit an invisible wall. What gives?
-INT Thibor

This is a good question. On some maps, usually awesome ones, some objects cannot be seen unless you turn object detail to high mode.But from my personal observations, Mr. Thibor, I'd say it's that crappy Manta oversteer that's causing you all the control trouble.

My life is nearly complete. I am part of a fantastic AVA chapter. I have one of the better records on the AVA Combat Ladder. But I can't help but feel that something is missing. I have thought about it, and my best guess is that I am missing an ego as big as select INT members. How can I better my ego so that I to can have trouble getting in and out of my car? Oh guide me, Master of Funk, to become more funky and haughty!
-EMP Ironside

How Cute. If you want to contact Thibor, you can reach him on the AVA Chapter's Page. As for becoming a master of Funk, you do realize you will have to ditch that Courchelle, and become acclimated with something that doesn't require a Bosun, 1st mate, and navigator. Your welcome.

After being exposed to mortars one fateful day by Toxy in the Precinct, I decided to learn the art of lobbing. A few rounds later, I got my first -crunch- noise of a direct hit, and now I can't seem to quit. I like slug throwers and flames just fine, but they don't seem to have the same kick. I will even go for that musical roof hit in laggy games when I KNOW those shells are landing behind my opponent. Where can I find help?
EMP Zaphod AVA

Well, I think the best way to look at this is use the old Playkill saying, "Thou shalt not use more mortars than thou hast sexual organs." YES, we know, Toxy assaulted you with twin mortars, but some people have all the luck. There are more than a few substitutes for mortars. Aim neins, dual dropper vehicles, even firerites can do chatostrophic damage. If you are still feeling the need for mega-mortar-mania, go to one of those games on i76net labeled "Skilled only" and prepare to eat multiple clusterbombs upon entry. Then you will know how everyone else feels going up against your WP-WP Royale! If that doesn't do it I'm going to recommend suspension from all vehicles with more than 1 hardpoint for the next 2 weeks.

Dear SSS Crew,
I seem to have a problem with picking up the scraps of my car after you blow me up. WHAT GIVES? Is it the mortar shrap-metal? Or the bullet enloged in my spine? I've tried going to the chiropractor (I CANT SPELL!) Even the specialists can't help me! Any advice on this very bothersome matter would be greatly appreciated. See you on the road! Or six feet under in my case...
-A very hurt Lord Humongous
P.S. Ever heard of a virtual lawsuit? He he he... that would be good. A court order saying no more rear mortars for any of you! BWAHAHAHA!! Sigh, I can only dream...

Ah, a simple one. Where is all that shrapnel coming from, you ask? Your automobile! Why so MUCH shrapnel? Well, last time I remember you were driving around in a Phadera Clydesdale! Maybe if you drove something that didn't have so much metal, you wouldn't have to pick so much of it out of your hiney after you get blown up. ;) As for the lawsuit, the SSS staff is so spectacular in combat that we are above the law!

Out of curiousity, who is the girl on the SSS logo?
-[DV] Hubris

That is a photo of Nikki Tyler, a world famous actress. Yes, the same name I have bestowed upon my White ABX AMZ. And for good reason. She is quite possibly the hottest bad girl on the planet. If you liked that, you will love this. (If you're too young to look at porn actresses in your respective country do not click on that.)